Why do liberals always have to go and mess up my Super Bowl?

Last year, Michelle Obama inexplicably butted into the puppy bowl, forever ruining that cherished institution.

This year, one of the very first ads ads in the Super Bowl between the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots had a not-at-all subtle jab at
 the Boston Tea Party!

I was all snuggled up in my Hobbit slippers with my kitten, Kitten-kitten, and we had just finished tearing up over all of the over patriotism.  I mean who doesn't cry when they hear "America the Beautiful," see the colors presented by our military and hear our national anthem?

Then, we get slammed with this:

An ad showing the Boston Tea Party, in which our forefathers, patriots, protested taxation without representation.  It's ok, I already have a tissue.

The British ask if the colonists will stop fighting if they can FILE THEIR TAX RETURNS FOR FREE.

They don't get to stop the unfair taxation without representation.  They have to keep paying taxes.  Of course!  We all have to pay our fair share, not wanting to pay taxes is UN-American, right?  But, we can FILE for free.

Crap.

They even show Washington crossing the Delaware and he BACKS UP.

Hey, I am a Doritos-loving, beef-eating, middle-American patriot, ok?  I get light-hearted humor and I can laugh at clever puns.

But, it isn't funny, because all of this is actually happening.  We have actually villianized people who don't want to pay more in taxes.  We are demonizing patriotism and all of the things that make this country great.

Hey, liberals, leave my Super Bowl alone, ok?

Isn't Lilithfair still going on?  And, Harvard is still there.  You have your forum, I have mine.

Only Carrie Underwood, patriots (and Seahawks) are allowed at this party.