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Saturday, December 21, 2013

Duck Dynasty, part 3

Cracker Barrel has dropped Duck Dynasty merchandise from its stores.

Really?  So, now Cracker Barrel is a champion of the GLBT community?

Nothing about Cracker Barrel screams "gay and lesbian hangout" does it?  I mean, the decor and menu at Cracker Barrel leans a little more toward backwoods, Christian redneck.  Doesn't it?

A reader sent me a list of "Si-isms" from Duck Dynasty, pearls of wisdom from Uncle Si.  Thank you, reader!

 “Last time I dressed up was in sheepskin on a recon mission in ‘Nam.”

“Hey, I know we’re all family boys, but look here, I might kill for a cupcake.”

"I’m the master of distractions. Do a couple of hand gestures, and bam! I’ll take the underwear clean off your butt.”


 “One time, in Vietnam, I saw a grizzly bear ridin’ a scooter.”


“Stop what you’re doing, cuz I’m about to ruin, the image and the sound you’re used to. Look here, I love that Humpty song. Stop cramping my style, man.”

"I had a woman once tell me that it wasn't me it was her. And I said you're darn right it's you, you heffer."

"A diversion? No....I never was good with math."

"what is this, star wars?"

"I am the MacGyver of cooking. If you bring me a piece of bread, cabbage, coconut, mustard greens, pigs feet, pine cones...and a woodpecker, I'll make you a good chicken pot pie."

"I gotta work with what I got, its called improv-isavation"

"Hey, they's all kinds of fish in the sea. Stingrays, manta rays, gamma rays, Raybans..."

"Have y'all ever heard the term Nam?"

"it's time to bring the pain jack."

"when your brain needs to sneeze but it cant cuz its a brain so it just hurts"

"Homie don't play that."


"I'm the Michael Jordan of annoying people"


"I know my way 'round here like the back of a ham"


I heard that Phil has had problems with A&E before.  The network wanted to add "bleeps" to make it sound like the Robertsons were cussing.  They don't cuss.

The network also wanted to edit out "Jesus" when the family prayed.

I hope they leave A&E and go to a different network.  Let's see what happens.